Tug O' War

In a game where I am almost at the point of winning, it so happened that in just one big pull, I lost.

After struggling so hard to pull the other end of the rope on my side, I lost the strength in pulling and fell down on the opponent's side. How unlucky I am. It's the second time that it has happened to me. I was almost at the edge of getting it, but then, in just a blink of my eyes, it was gone. It was slightly hard for me to accept after the efforts that I have put into it. As I regain myself again, maybe it was not really meant for me after all. Though I know that it is much of an experience for me to learn something new and test my self in a new world. On my part of course, it IS already an opportunity! So why not grab it? I just don't get it. They allowed me at first to go and look for a network where I could have my OJT. When I already found one and ready to fix things, they suddenly took it away from me. All of the excitement fell off me. It was a bit of an adventure though looking for one. But on one point, if they wouldn't be able to support me, I shouldn't have wasted my time and effort and money for that. It was just very disappointing. Another thing is that, I was the only one who would like to take the OJT there together with two of my classmates, so there was only a small chance that they will really find a way to help me out. Oh dear, broken dreams again. :( Why is it always like that? It always have to be the two of us. It sucks! I am different! I want to have my own world. The world that I want for myself. A world where I would get the chance to do what I want. I have my dreams. I want to experience many things. But how would I if I'm always like this like that? I'm not a robot. It's sad to say that I wasn't able to feel what real college life is. :( Well, anyway, that's life. I just have to accept it and face it. Someday, I will experience the real meaning of life. :) Someday, I will be able to work and do things by myself. I know it won't be easy at first, but that is where you will really learn. I just hope that even in the slightest way possible they would be able to understand me. We all perceive things in different way because all of us are unique in different ways. :)

Isang Munting Liwanag

Tila isa siyang ibon na nagnanais makawala sa hawla...

Ngunit paano? Hindi niya magawa. Hindi siya mabigyan ng pagkakataon. Nagmamakaawa man pero walang makarinig, walang nakakapansin, at marahil wala rin makakaintindi sa mga pinagdadaanan niya. Isa siyang ibon. Ibon na nilikha upang makalipad ng malaya. Ibon na nilikha upang matanaw at masaliksik ang mundong napakalawak. Araw-gabi dumadaloy ang mga luha sa kanyang mga mata na walang sinumang nakakapansin. Diyos na lamang ang kanyang nakakapitan sa mga oras na iyon.

Sunod-sunod ang mga pangyayaring di niya inaasahan; mga pangyayaring di kanais-nais kahit nasa loob na siya ng kulungan. Magsisimula ang buhay pagsikat ng araw sa isang umagang di kay ganda. Konting twist sa gitna, at pagsapit ng gabi, wala paring pinagkaiba. O kaya nama'y maganda sa simula at pangit ang katapusan o kabaligtaran. Siguro sadyang kakaiba lang talaga ang istilo kung papaano isinulat at iginuhit ng tadhana ang buhay niya. Maraming twists and turns kaya lalo lang siyang naguguluhan. Ngunit alam niyang wala siyang karapatang magreklamo.


Maliban sa Diyos, isang tao lang ang alam niyang makakapitan niya. Alam niyang mailalabas niya ang lahat ng saloobin niya at pagkatapos, makikitaan siya muli ng ngiti sa mukha. Ngunit hindi rin sa lahat ng oras ay may maaasahan siya. Sa isang di inaasahang kaganapan, wala lang; naisipan niyang wala talagang mangyayari sa buhay niya kung patuloy lang siya sa paghihintay na maging maayos ang lahat. Nakakita siya ng liwanag sa kadiliman. Wala naman talagang mangyayari kung siya mismo ay hindi gagawa ng paraan. Buhay niya iyon. Siya lamang ang may kakayahang gumuhit ng kanyang magiging kapalaran. Dapat lang na maging malakas siya. Patuloy lang ang pag-agos ng buhay.


Malalim ang kanyang iniisip; sinusuri ang bawat anggulo ng buhay. Marahil pagsubok lamang iyon ng Diyos para sa kanya upang malaman kung gaano siya katatag; kung gaano siya katibay; kung gaano siya kalakas upang malagpasan ang lahat ng iyon. Nagising siya sa katotohanan na nasa loob parin siya ng kulungan ngunit alam niya na may magagawa siya. Hindi man madali pero alam niyang kaya niya. Hindi man madali pero alam niyang makukuha niya ang ninanais ng puso niya. Hindi man ito ang tamang panahon at oras, pero alam niyang darating din iyon...malapit na.


Isa siyang ibon. Ibon na nilikha upang makalipad ng malaya patungo sa tamang paroroonan. Bukas ay isa nanamang panibagong yugto ng kanyang buhay. Bagong taon. Bagong buhay. Bagong Siya. :)

My First Saturday of November

7:15

8:00

9:00

9:30

--->9:50 on the clock. Oh crap! I'm so late for our Saturday class. :)) I actually don't have plan in attending the 1st sat class if not for my grade in BC and Journ last semester. I arrived at around 10:30 I think, and they were about to end. My classmate Lavinia told me "strong ah?". Hahaha! I even look like I really just woke up. After 15 minutes maybe, we were dismissed, then I talked to Sir Wallis regarding my grades. I got 90, and I was checking to see if there is a possibility that I would get a grade a little higher than that. He showed me my records in Journ and explained to me my deficiencies. I knew I lack one feature article during midterms. For the finals... how stupid of me! I forgot to label the 5 paragraphs of my column that's why. And that's for 20 points! I got disappointed. Oh well, that's life. I'm thankful, atleast, that I still got an average of 90 flat, so I get a chance to avail a scholarship again. :)

I went home at around 11am, had my lunch, then I slept until 5pm. I was so bored to death, and so I ate sandwich when I woke up, then watched television. I was waiting for Failon Ngayon 'coz they're episode is about fraternity. Wala lang. Curious lang ako lalo na sa isang bahagi na kung saan tinetest ka kung karapatdapat ka bang mapabilang sa grupo --- ang HAZING. Sabi nila ang fraternity daw ay patungkol sa kapatiran --- brotherhood. Pero kung ating mapapanood sa mga balita minsan, may mga namamatay sa hazing. Madami na nga yata eh. Sobra sobra naman ang pagbubugbog sa kanila. Nasaan ang tinatawag nilang "brotherhood"? HINDI MAKATAO! Mga walang awa. Asal hayop. Daig pa nga yata nila hayop eh. Pero nililinaw ko lang, I'm not generalizing. Yung iba lang na ginagamit ang fraternity sa di magandang paraan. Nakakasad lang isipin. I was waiting for 6pm pero wala. I don't know what is the exact time of the show. I'll just watch it on youtube.

And so my day continued, or night actually. Donn, or should I say, my yam dropped by. I had fun sharing stories with him. Siya nalang magaling. Bitter? Haha joke. And so he made my day. :)

Once Upon a Dreadful Day

This day started just fine. Just fine.

I went to school a little late for the second day of class for the 2nd semester. Our first subject was Corporate Communication wherein the assistant dean of our college is our professor. He started to give us a little introduction with regards to the subject. I was listening 'coz I was sitting in front, and by the way, our room is in PS307 -- very spacious for us Comm3. Only 12 of us are present in the early morning subject. So, As I was saying, I was listening, but then my mind was not yet ready for a discussion. I was waiting for him to finish because I was so bored and finally, we were dismissed at around 9am.

The dullness of the day continued until I went out with my boyfriend Donn Medina. We ate at Mcdo and had a little chit chat. :) Atleast I felt elated even just for a while. Basta kasama ko siya masaya nako. Yun lang naman yun eh. Moving on, we went back at around 10. They have their prof in Filipino2--> Ma'am Razon. She was one of the best teacher for me when I was in first year. So sweet. Our prof in Filipino1 (ABComm1B). Share ko lang hehe. I went back in our big room (haha) and we didn't have a prof yet in Electronic Newsroom. How I wish Ma'am Virgie didn't leave us hanging. So me, Jesse, Lea, Marjie and Ryan went straight to Starbucks! Somehow I was lightened up because of the ambiance inside brought about by the employees there -- very friendly. :)) Then we went to Yolly's. After, we went straight to the radio station and discussed things with Ma'am Hyz regarding our internship. I was on the console playing songs that we like. And once again, I heard the song "U Smile" by Justin Bieber. It makes me smile---> the song not the singer. :p :)

Next subject---> Creative Writing. I was excited, a little only I supposed, on this subject. We got back to the room at around 1:15 and our professor was already there. She was a bit...annoyed? disappointed? I don't know what is the right term to best describe her reaction when we entered the room. And so, that little excitement in me vanished. She said that sometimes, we tend to take things for granted, specially when we know that we are good at it. I quite agree, but the only thing is, I think she did a hasty generalization. Then we proceeded on discussing what is the meaning of "creative" and "writing". At the beginning of the class, we had a small piece of paper wherein we wrote some things about ourselves. What I was thinking regarding that was right after all. She wanted to see who among us have the "skills" in writing. We had an activity before the class ended. We worked in pairs. She handed down a paper with two big pictures on it. We were tasked to write down, in one sentence only, what the picture is all about. But we were confused as to what should be the right thing to do. She said that we don't have to "describe" the picture. Simply tell what is on the picture. Got it? Whatever. None of us got the right answer which is very very simple. Then she said that our class was "too creative". Should we take that as a compliment? Nevermind. But I think I would learn a lot with her. Hopefully. :)

After that, we all went home early. And I was in a bad mood. SUPER! Then my mother didn't allow me to go out with my baby and bunsoy. SO SAD! :( Anyway, maybe some other time. :) And that's it. THE END

I hope tomorrow will be a good one. Good Vibes... specially with my grades in BC and Journ. So help me God! :)

The Legal Age

If blogging for me is a form of stress relief or emotional release from random thoughts of mine, magtatagalog na lamang ako para mailahad ko ng mabuti ang aking saloobin. Haha! O kaya taglish nalang para masaya at may...thrill? Hahaha. Okay. Anyway, dahil nag-iisa lamang ako sa mga oras na ito sa aming tahanan (nice!), magbblog nga ako. Heto na...

Ngunit bago ako magumpisa sa topic na gusto kong ilahad, natuwa at natawa daw ako nung binasa ko ang blog ni Ryan Marimla, na aking tatay, kagabi. Para makarelate ka sa akin, basahin mo din. Try mo.. (said sa tono  ng Nescafe TV ad..haha). Visit mo ung coldexpress.blogspot.com. So heto na talaga. Start na ako. Commercial lamang iyon. Sumesegway. :)

O eto na talaga. Handa na ba kayo? Haha. Actually, matagal ko na 'tong naiisip. Highschool pa lamang ako. Elementary pa nga yata eh -- nung Grade 6 ako. O diba? Kung anu-ano na daw naiisip ko nun sa buhay. Syempre di naman masyadong hebigat. Ganito lang naman kasi 'yon. Hatid-sundo kami araw-araw. Uso pa nga noon ang "lunch out" so minsan uuwi kami para kumain. Atleast narefresh ka naman pagbalik mo. Pero minsan nakakatamad na bumalik. So bata pa lang ako may pagkatamad na daw ako nuh? Hanggang ngayon naman kaya lagi na lang pang 2nd semester ang pagiging college scholar ko. Pero pramis magsisipag na talaga ako. >:)) (fingers crossed). Mahirap na ang buhay ngayon. Di madaling kumita ng pera kaya pasalamat tayo at nakakapag-aral tayo sa magandang unibersidad. Maraming kabataan ngayon ang gustong mag-aral kaso di kaya ng mga magulang nila. Yung iba nga kung napapanood ninyo minsan sa tv sobrang layo ng nilalakad makarating lang sa kanilang paaralan. Isipin niyo yun (isang malaking buntong-hininga). Samantalang yung iba nakadorm, or walking distance lang pero matamad naman (bato-bato sa langit tamaan wag magagalit. PEACE MEN! Haha). Sabi nga nila ang edukasyon ngayon ay hindi na karapatan kundi pribilehiyo na lamang (Education is more of a privilege, not a right) -- ayan may translation hehe. Pero nakakalungkot isipin diba?

Going back to what I am saying...nasan na nga ba tayo? Sabi ko nga nasa earth. Haha. Ok whatever. At hindi na pala ako home alone. How sad. :( chos! San na tayo nakakarating. Bumalik na tayo sa ating pinaguusapan. Eh di yon. Syempre bata pa kami kaya natural lang ang hatid-sundo. Pero gusto ko talaga matry magcommute nun. Just for once. One time big time. Syempre may kasama naman. Baka maligaw ako. Kaso di naman ako pinayagan. And so we're getting near to my point. If I'm not mistaken, sinabi yata ng aking mother "yung mga kaklase niyo marunong magcommute." Somewhat like that. She'll sometimes say na buti pa sila ganito ganyan. Tapos sasabihin ko sa sarili ko..."pano ako matututo eh ayaw mo naman ako payagan tapos ganyan sasabihin mo." Tama ako diba? Agree? Agree? (for violent reactions, just comment below :p). Pero syempre naiintindihan ko naman. Ayaw lang nila ako mapahamak. Pero kasi eh haha. How will you learn if you will not go on your own? Sabi ko nga sa status ko sa FB: "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." -T.S. Eliot. Galing ko yan sa Twitter hehe. Pero siguro dahil nga bata pa ko nun at wala pa ako sa "legal age" --> 18.

At ngayon, 18 na ko. :) Kapag 18 ka na, yung ibang mgggreet sa'yo sasabihin "legal ka na." Pero nakakalungkot isipin na...hindi parin eh. 18 ka na, legal ka na. Meaning to say, it's time to have and make your own decisions in life, as long as you choose what is right and proper. Kung magkamali ka man, ayos lang naman. Everybody makes mistakes. Natural lang naman ang magkamali kasi sa bawat pagkakamaling nagagawa mo, natututo ka. Napakagaling at napakabait mo namang bata kung hindi ka nagkakamali --> "ang bait mo naman sana kunin ka na ni Lord" sabi nga sa kanta ni Black Jack. Isa pa, college na ko. Career ko na sa future ang pinaguusapan dito. Hindi ko naman papabayaan pag-aaral ko syempre. Marami kaya akong pangarap sa buhay. Pati ikaw diba? Kung wala, aba'y huwag kang umasa na aasenso buhay mo. Gusto mo ng instant sa buhay mo? Instant noodles kumain ka sige. Pero eto ah, grab every opportunity that comes in your way and learn from them. Experience is the best teacher ika nga nila. At mahaba na yata ang blog kong ito so I now rest my case. Bow.

Hanggang sa muli kaibigan. Goodluck sa buhay na iyong tatahakin. :)

Heat up, but don't mess up

I felt a sudden whim inside me to start blogging. It's my first time -- except those that were required in one of our major subject of course..haha! Maybe because some of my friends have blogs that's why I find myself blogging too. And adding up to that, random thoughts are popping out from my mind, so, I thought maybe with this, my mind would not be overloaded with those. 

Blog...blog...blog...-->a sort of relief from stress maybe-->emotional release. :p

Okay. Enough of the introduction. I'll move on with my real purpose why I created this.

A big part of our lives are problems. They just seem so inevitable no matter how much we try to get away from them. They keep on bursting out from nowhere just to ruin your day. Well, I supposed I already knew (though I admit not entirely) what to do when problems butt in my way. It's as simple as laugh it out, or give it a smile. And most importantly, PRAY. :) But then, don't expect that it will just  go away in an instant. If I want them to, I have to face them. Take the risk. Be brave. Face the consequences. Somehow, I'll be able to learn something from it. Then it's done.

But things weigh differently; the way people see things. It might look easy and simple for me, but for others? It's complicated -- very much complicated. I'll share to you a certain scenario wherein a person has a problem...in life (who doesn't?). It seems like his problems got piled up 'til he no longer knew what to do. I'm trying my best to help him cheer up a bit. I was telling him that he'll only make things worse if he himself is not going to help himself. I'm right isn't? Honestly, you would look like kinda pathetic...really.

I was trying my best to stay calm to not escalate the warm atmosphere of the earth that might explode in any minute if I would also heat up. So I'd rather stay cool, listen, and give advice. But he was really on the edge of his emotions. He's really in a bad mood and it's like he's carrying the whole world upon his shoulders that's why he doesn't know what to do, which is, for me, same old statement that is so absurd. And to cut the story short, the night ended, well, not that good, but not that bad either. Somewhere in between. So, after that, I was thinking how will he be able to solve or face his problems with that kind of attitude. He got himself all messed up.


Think first before you react -- that's how it should be. Don't let your emotions get ahead of you because when it does, you'll never know what might happen, and I'm sure you wouldn't like it. Come to think of it, how can you think properly if you're at the peak of your emotions? You might even utter some words even though you didn't mean it. Remember, you cannot draw back words after you said it. Whether you mean it or not, it will leave a mark on a person. Take good caution of your words before you say it. Try to relax. Release the tension. When you feel okay to handle things, then that's the time you think on what to do. That's how I am. "ihatequotes" on Twitter inspires me in some way with the quotes they're tweeting. It talks about life, love, and others. You might want to follow it if you have a Twitter account. :)


And finally, to end my first blog ever, I saw this post from Kuya Norman Mendoza in Facebook ---> SPEAK WHEN YOU’RE ANGRY AND YOU WILL MAKE THE BEST SPEECH YOU’LL EVER REGRET. – Laurence J. Peter


There you have it. Random thoughts of mine. It's all...Me. :)