In a game where I am almost at the point of winning, it so happened that in just one big pull, I lost.
After struggling so hard to pull the other end of the rope on my side, I lost the strength in pulling and fell down on the opponent's side. How unlucky I am. It's the second time that it has happened to me. I was almost at the edge of getting it, but then, in just a blink of my eyes, it was gone. It was slightly hard for me to accept after the efforts that I have put into it. As I regain myself again, maybe it was not really meant for me after all. Though I know that it is much of an experience for me to learn something new and test my self in a new world. On my part of course, it IS already an opportunity! So why not grab it? I just don't get it. They allowed me at first to go and look for a network where I could have my OJT. When I already found one and ready to fix things, they suddenly took it away from me. All of the excitement fell off me. It was a bit of an adventure though looking for one. But on one point, if they wouldn't be able to support me, I shouldn't have wasted my time and effort and money for that. It was just very disappointing. Another thing is that, I was the only one who would like to take the OJT there together with two of my classmates, so there was only a small chance that they will really find a way to help me out. Oh dear, broken dreams again. :( Why is it always like that? It always have to be the two of us. It sucks! I am different! I want to have my own world. The world that I want for myself. A world where I would get the chance to do what I want. I have my dreams. I want to experience many things. But how would I if I'm always like this like that? I'm not a robot. It's sad to say that I wasn't able to feel what real college life is. :( Well, anyway, that's life. I just have to accept it and face it. Someday, I will experience the real meaning of life. :) Someday, I will be able to work and do things by myself. I know it won't be easy at first, but that is where you will really learn. I just hope that even in the slightest way possible they would be able to understand me. We all perceive things in different way because all of us are unique in different ways. :)
